My Lost World

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
#my #random #thoUghts

#my #random #thoUghts

50 posts!

50 posts!

gold-sunflowers:

Must Reblog for a private message nd my kik username (;

Love it

gold-sunflowers:

Must Reblog for a private message nd my kik username (;

Love it

r Obama fuck you and your Obama Care.

p/s

…I didnt vote for you

THIS WAS A VERY HARD MOMENT BUT A LESSON IN MY LIFE THAT HELP ME TO REALIZE THAT EVEN AFTER A BREAK UP ITS OK TO STILL LOVE SOMEONE AND CARE AS DEEPLY MORE FOR OTHERS THAN YOURSELF. THAT ITS OK TO HURT,TO CRY AND THAT DOESNT MAKE ME LESS THAN A MAN OR WEAK JUST A NORMAL HUMAN BEING.

THIS WAS A VERY HARD MOMENT BUT A LESSON IN MY LIFE THAT HELP ME TO REALIZE THAT EVEN AFTER A BREAK UP ITS OK TO STILL LOVE SOMEONE AND CARE AS DEEPLY MORE FOR OTHERS THAN YOURSELF. THAT ITS OK TO HURT,TO CRY AND THAT DOESNT MAKE ME LESS THAN A MAN OR WEAK JUST A NORMAL HUMAN BEING.

I Am The Other Women…

I can’t help but browse through all of these posts and feel an assortment of emotions. Anywhere from anger, sadness, and yes sometimes I laugh.

You see you being the wife and I being the other woman we are to be enemies. I crossed a sacred boundary of marriage and shall be doomed to an afterlife of hell. I am the predator the one who busted through the walls of a strong marriage and corrupted it. All with my relentless charm and alluring beauty! Ha! I think in some cases wives have the situation distorted in their minds. After all, placing the blame on the other women is most certainly easier than facing the reality of possibly something may be wrong in your marriage or at best with your husband’s crazy train head.

My Story

I’m rather surprised I’m not one of the faces that grace this website with a very one sided story of our situation. I will never deny my wrongdoing in this mess. I too am married and over the past year my life has been a mess. He and I are the only ones to blame. I met prince charming three years ago. He was an in law of one of my relatives. We all hung out often and on occasion would drink together. My husband in fact was friends with him when they were young as they had worked together for a period of time. His wife and I were social friends, hardly close friends. He seemed to take interest in me which at first I felt put off by. I remember telling my husband how he was always overly friendly to me and I hated going out with them. It was after all very awkward.

In the meantime my marriage was going through a very rocky time. Prince charming had added me on Facebook and would try to talk to me more and more. I was a stay at home mom so I was bored and gave in. We became good friends. I think this was when boundaries started to be crossed. I didn’t think of him as more as friends but in hindsight it’s not ok to talk to a married man all day. Especially about our marriages (at this point they were having issues too). What crossed the line was a night my husband was out of state. My relatives and I decided to go have a few drinks. I show up at the bar and he was there alone. We sat and talked all night. I had too much to drink and he had offered to give me a ride home. That night we kissed. Nothing more but a drunk kiss. I felt horrid. After a week I confessed to my husband. Eventually she found out too and the line was drawn. Our friendship was to stop and it did until around December of last year. We started chatting here and there again. He would complain about his marriage. .my husband and I were separating. I really didn’t feel we were going back there again. This time it was about to get much worse.

Over the month of January we would talk more and more. Eventually it became all day while he was at work until he went home. He would tell me she was going to leave. Or he was going to. He would tell me he was depressed and wanted to kill himself. I felt so scared for him. I know now he was manipulating me, he’s very good at this. Towards the end of January we met up in person. We did not sleep with each other but we did cross boundaries. After this night our chatting spread into the evening. We always knew what one another were up to at all times. We at that point started to see each other a few times a week. We would kiss hold hands but never had sex. He would tell me I made him so happy and that he needed me. He spent his Birthday with his family but the later evening he met up with me. March was when it all came to head. I was fed up. What we were doing was wrong and it needed to stop whether it was with me or not. He told me that he wanted to meet with me at my home to talk about our future and his plans. He had made a decision. That time came and he told me he wanted me. He was going to leave. We went further than we ever had that night. Come the next day he messaged me to tell me he had changed his mind, for his daughter. I felt horrible, used, and lied to. I mean what was I to expect? In anger I told her. In turn he changed his number, email, and deleted Facebook. I had lost my best friend (or to whom I thought was) forever.

A month went by and I struggled I missed my friend. I had come to terms with my sins and how badly I hurt his family. It’s like a storm, while it is happening you don’t realize the damage that will be left after. Around April he surfaced when his wife was out of state. I ran into him at the local bar but didn’t speak to him. He stared obviously as well as awkwardly at me the whole time. The next morning he was at his nieces, which is my cousin’s softball game, which happened to also be my daughters softball game that I coached. It was very awkward again as he was just staring me down. About one o’clock in the morning I was finishing up my schoolwork to look out the window and see his SUV parked across the street. He sat there for a minute and drove off. Then repeated the same routine. He would drive by my house on his lunch hour and drive by daughters softball practices. Come mid-week I get a text from an email asking me random questions. Could it be him I wondered? So I emailed the address back, when they replied I got the IP address from the email, an exact match with his home IP I pulled from another email. All of this boggled my mind. Soon it was time for wifey to come home and he disappeared. I am not going to lie I had my week moments where I would message him. It hurt. I would never do anything so stupid after all if my heart wasn’t tied to it somehow. One night he finally messaged me. He told me he was sorry. He missed me and thought about me. His marriage hadn’t changed and he wished he didn’t wake up at times. I comforted him as usual. Then two days later he was back to ignoring me. Come August we started talking again. Late September he asked me to meet up with him. At that time he told me he was in love with me and all he could think about was me. He was certain he wanted me. I was so confused and jaded I told him I had to think about things. Come Monday he was different. I was excited because I had given it a lot of thought and I loved him. I wanted him. I could tell he changed his mind. I asked him if he really meant it when he said he loved me and his words were “shit I hurt you again”. I felt like I was punched in the stomach. I was incredibly hurt. I know I deserved it but it didn’t make it less painful. At that time I chose to end our friendship and divulge the truth to her. Of course in her eyes it was all my doing. She forgave him…again. And that’s that. I have emailed him once forgiving him. I can’t hold hate in me anymore.

We both tore our families apart. Friends don’t destroy one another. I made the decision to have an affair. That was wrong. But he chose to play me like a puppet. He took my self-esteem to an all-time low. He manipulated the fact that I have a soft heart and felt so sad for him and his depression.

What I feel terrible for is how I judged his wife. How I felt she was bitter, insecure, looked way beyond her years. Like the stress of life has completely broke her down to an empty shelled person. Now when I look in the mirror I don’t see me anymore. I see a sad person, I see a person who use to be proud of her reflection…who was never angry or hurt. I notice the dark circles from lack of sleep. I have become exactly what I loathed….my reflection was no more than a carbon copy of her. Incredibly broken.

Now I have no doubt that he will be back. I have already seen him lingering around. I do know this though, just because I made bad decisions in the past doesn’t mean I need to repeat. Especially when I already know the ending. Our story is over now. Wives before you post that picture ..remember you are giving him what he wants. As long as you put all the blame on her he will never have to take responsibility for his actions. He wants us enemies, after all it’s hard to cheat two people who communicate with one another.

http://shesahomewrecker.com/i-am-the-other-women/#more-10367

In spite of what has happen and continues to be I Love My City.

In spite of what has happen and continues to be I Love My City.

A clean looking place. My city Stocktone Califas.

A clean looking place. My city Stocktone Califas.